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Mar 18 , 2018

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Notice to Readers: Frankland employee suspended 60 days without pay

by editor
Notice to Readers: Frankland employee suspended 60 days without pay
 
Dear Readers: 
At the Greater Frankland Corp. we have always prided ourselves on getting out in front of the story. 
Today we regret to inform that a Frankland employee has immediately been suspended for 60 days without pay for inappropriate behaviour, bringing an offensive cigarette lighter into the workplace. 
This action was not taken lightly as the matter was thoroughly investigated by a wholly independent third party body. 
Unfortunately privacy laws do not allow us as a corporation to name the employee in question. However that employee did release a statement which we reproduce below. 
Kind Regards, 
Andrew J. Douglas 
Managing Editor Frank Magazine 
 
Dear Franklanders: 
Let me be clear. Today I most sincerely and humbly apologize for my inappropriate behaviour. 
This is a wake-up call for me. 
It was not, certainly not, my intention to offend, debase, degrade, disparage, discredit, or otherwise diminish, anyone who may have been harmed my actions. 
I acknowledge my actions were exceedingly and excessively offensive. 
Obviously my thoughts and prayers are with the survivors of this unfortunate incident. 
Moreover, their courage and their strength in coming forward in this pivotal time in the history of peoplekind must be applauded. 
I accept, without reservation or hesitation, my suspension from the Frankland Bunker. 
I hope to, and I will, learn from my deplorable actions. I am deeply remorseful for all the pain I have caused. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. 
If I have behaved insensitively at times, again I take full responsibility. 
My behaviour I can only describe as shocking and appalling. 
I would also like to apologize not only to you, the reader, but also to all women and feminists that I can currently think of. 
Let me assure you that the hardship and heartache my selfish, inappropriate behaviour has generated, not only amongst the gals, but everybody else I can currently think of will not repeat itself. 
Despite my very giving and gregarious personality, I need to be a better person and hang out a little more around the self-help section of Chapters, if I can find the time. Maybe Saturday afternoons, who knows. 
Of course it pains me tremendously not to have the necessary time to apology further and to further discuss my inappropriate behaviour. But as you may or may not know, today is Friday, just past four o’clock and Happy Hour begins at 4:30 p.m. 
I know I have a long road in front of me. I also know I have learned a very, very valuable lesson from my very, very misguided and inexcusable inappropriate behaviour. 
So, the next time Edwina from the Frankland switchboard asks if I have a light — I’m just going to tell her to suck me arse! 
Sincerely, 
Unidentified Frankland Employee 
 

CONTACT US: Frank Magazine Box 295, Halifax N.S. B3J 2N7 -- Phone: 902 420 1668 -- Fax: 902 423 0281