By Jared Perry, Saint Mary's University Student Association President
The first couple of days of September 2013 started out pretty well for me.
Last semester, I was touched and honoured when my fellow SMUdents once again entrusted me to the presidency of the SMUSA for the upcoming school year, so it was with a spring in my step and a smile upon my face that I arrived in Halifax from my native Moncton on Labour Day weekend. I couldn't wait to tackle all the challenges that awaited me in 2013-2014!
I take my duties as SMUSA president very seriously. Not only am I
the face and voice behind all of my students' post-secondary
concerns, I am also responsible for the management of the SMUSA
itself, making sure that everyone is accomplishing their goals and
meeting their deadlines. It's a big job, involving a lot of late
nights and early mornings, but I have to say, I love every minute
of it. As soon as I landed in Halifax, I rolled up my sleeves and
got to work! So there I was, working away, nose to the grindstone,
pedal to the metal and all that, when the proverbial poop hit the
I see now that I really should have said something to someone about
how hundreds of my fellow SMUdents shout at the top of their lungs
about raping young girls every Frosh Week. In hindsight, it seems
But in their defense, sometimes, in the heat of the moment, you
don't realize you're gleefully and explicitly chanting about the
illegal defiling of underage girls. It's just one of those things.
You know how sometimes you'll be sitting at your desk in class and
you're concentrating so hard you don't even notice you're making an
awful racket tapping your foot against your chair leg until someone
tells you to knock it off? It's sort of like that.
Listen, the 80 student leaders who led this year's public
exclamation about the virtues of forcefully penetrating young,
nubile flesh are great leaders. The annual chant was just a
momentary lapse that has happened every year for as long as anyone
can remember. An annual momentary lapse, if you will. But one that
will never, ever happen again.
I have to say, this was a huge learning experience for all of us.
But we can't keep looking back. We have to move forward.
We are all excited as an executive team to develop sustainable
practices on a go-forward basis to ensure a persuasive case for the
positive attributes of sexually assaulting minors will never again
be shouted by hundreds of students en masse at an officially-
sanctioned Frosh event ever again. It's going to be challenging
work, but your SMUSA executive team is up to the
challenge. We're committed to stepping up our game on this
file, taking things to the next level. I was very optimistic that
an upcoming consent conference at St. FX University, which we will all be attending, will supply us with
lots of helpful tips about how to stem our collective urge to
shout at the top of our lungs about taking mad high school trim
My fellow SMUdents, don't let this sweet Movember facial hair fool
you. I'm a very personable guy. Feel free to approach me with any
questions or concerns you may have about this or any other issue.
Also, if you want to let me know how you personally resist the
compulsion to spontaneously start clapping your hands and barking
out rape fantasies about your fellow students' younger female
siblings, that would be great, too. Every little bit helps.
CONTACT US: Frank Magazine Box 295, Halifax N.S. B3J 2N7 -- Phone: 902 420 1668 -- Fax: 902 423 0281